There are few movie characters that have proved as popular or as long-lasting as James Bond. The intrepid British secret agent has been battling the world’s bad guys for half a century now, and the signs are that he will continue to do so for many more years to come. If there’s a problem in any part of the world, the chances are 007 himself will be able to deal with it.
One of the reasons for his continuing success is his access to the latest gadgets and the coolest cars. If his trusty gun isn’t capable of getting the job done, his instant clouds of smoke, ejector seats and bulletproof shields will do the trick instead. In the future, no doubt Q will be coming up with ever more innovative devices, so here is a few which I would like to suggest.
Sat Nave Glasses James Bond always seems to know where he’s going, but there must be times when our brave hero feels a little lost. Therefore, I think the coffins should kit him out with a pair of sunglasses which double up as an instant, easy to use GPS unit. So even if he’s on foot, on a motorcycle or fighting on the roof of a speeding train, he will be able to locate the bad guys in no time at all.
Instant Ice Sheet There was a time when Bond’s Aston Martin could spew out a supply of thick oil onto the road behind, thereby ensuring his pursuers would slip and slide all over the tarmac before eventually gliding off altogether and careering down a convenient cliff. These days, though, we all have to think about the environment, so to save on fossil fuel and protect the local ecology I would suggest an instant sheet of ice could be utilized instead.
Edible airbags James Bond has had a number of car accidents over the years, often on remote roads with little or no chance of any immediate recovery. The vehicle’s airbags will have saved him from serious injury, but I feel they can be used to achieve so much more. Therefore, I propose the inclusion of edible airbags instead, so once he regains consciousness he can simply eat them when he gets hungry. If they were Martini-flavored, so much the better.
A gun that turns into a pen We all remember the wonderful pen that turned into a gun when danger approached, and indeed it helped 007 to remain one step ahead of the opposition. But what if he needed a pen at some crucial point during the movie? If he suddenly needed to write down the registration of a car or perhaps the phone number of a pretty girl and all he had in his pocket was a pistol he would look pretty silly. Therefore, the gun-pen also needs to be a pen-gun.